Category Archives: Uncategorizable

I’m almost done reading the Walter Isaacson’s Steve Jobs biography, but I’ve fallen into “the biography trap”: I never finish them. Seriously, I get 3/4s of the way into a biography, and then it gets dark and the hero contracts syphilis or inoperable cancer, or gets roped into a duel with some local yahoo, or beats the British or something. I stick a bookmark in and never open the book again.

But my life isn’t lacking for analysis of Steve Jobs. Every writer and “thought leader” in the free world has been writing about Steve Jobs as a business icon, an iconoclast, a model of uncompromising passion. My favorite bit of analysis is Daring Fireball’s recap of Malcolm Gladwell’s recap of Isaacson’s book. Go check it out, it’s great.

So I was camped out on the couch for a few hours this weekend, nursing a cracked rib from the Turkey Bowl and watching the Star Wars prequels on TV. And man…I knew they were bad, but every time I watch them I’m stunned anew by their badness. They. Are. Terrible. You knew that. They’re as bad as the originals are good.

And I thought of the narrative that we use to explain the dreadfulness of those prequels: George Lucas had total creative control, and he just wasn’t up to the task. He didn’t have the taste or the skill to fix a stupid script, plodding story, sub-par effects, and terrible acting performances.

I’m not sure I completely buy that narrative, but it’s useful as a counter to the Steve Jobs hero worship we’re engaging in right now. Few executives enjoy absolute power the way Jobs and Lucas have. Absolute power can once in a while lead to an iPhone. More likely, it leads to “The Phantom Menace.”

80 teams, split into 4 conferences, entirely based on geography. (Could also be 64 or 72 teams.)

Each “super conference” crowns a single champion each year.

The four super conference champions play a two-round tournament to pick a champion.

The ecosystem of meaningless-but-fun bowl games doesn’t really change.

No more realignments–if a school wants to move to a different conference, they’d need to relocate the school itself.

No independents allowed.

The system would be more inclusive, ensure regional rivalries, make sense from a TV standpoint, easier on the students (for travel-time reasons), provide a conclusive champion each season, and it’ll never happen. It would need to be imposed by the NCAA, which would in turn need to get buy-in from a critical mass of university presidents and ADs. The conferences and the BCS power structure are way too powerful.

But it would be nice, right?

Blessed readers, I present to you The Funniest/Stupidest Facebook Update Ever Posted:

It would be even funnier if this guy wasn’t a registered voter (but also less ironic). It’s also funnier because I actually know this guy and he considers himself a Christian…albeit a Christian who’d rather murder than pay the taxes that go to support the poor and old retired people. Dude, how much are you actually paying in Social Security taxes? Also, why do you hate America and democracy so much that you’d assassinate the duly elected president in order to get out of paying them?

But here’s the real kicker: If time travel DID exist, you’d be arrested for treason because the Time Cops would see your Facebook post and know what’s up. Maybe they wouldn’t even arrest you; they’d just go back in time and make sure your mom and dad never met! (You can’t beat the Time Cops).

Man, what a miserable excuse for a basketball game. I get it when a player has a bad night, or even a whole team. But last night a whole SPORT had a bad night.

What’s really sad is that was probably the last sporting event I’ll watch until late August when college football starts–I’ve never been able to really get into pro sports. I’ll gladly trade the athletic prowess on display in pro sports for the drama of college sports.

I think it’s the paychecks. I just can’t get past the idea that we’re watching coddled millionaires play sports. Those college kids put their future on the line every time they play–injuries happen, players choke in a big ESPN game, and a lifetime of hard work and dreams of going pro are dashed.

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Seriously: brandon davies is a trending topic on Twitter! That means, in the entire worldwide Twittersphere, with violent upheavals in the Middle East, a new iPad announced this afternoon, and Charlie Sheen redefining “radical,” Brandon Davies is one of the top 10 topics on Twitter.

This follows the ESPN story divulging Davies’ Honor Code violation: he had sex with his girlfriend. The chatter on Twitter is deafening and polarized, with SocialMention.com reporting that he’s getting tweeted about every 7 seconds. From what I can tell, half of the tweets are “Good for BYU,” and the other half are “Whaaaaa????”

Yes folks, BYU and the Mormon church frown upon sex outside of marriage. That might seem hopelessly backward, but it’s not like we’re the only religion with such a belief. BYU isn’t even the only major school with such a rule against sex–Notre Dame has a similar one, which mandates expulsion for fooling around.

Anyway, from the looks of the New Mexico game, March is going to be no fun for BYU fans. The MTN announcers can barely can contain their glee (not that they’re trying particularly hard).

BTW, this isn’t the first time BYU sports has been in the Trending Topics. Actually, they get there quite a bit, presumably because they’re the team people love to hate. I’m betting that translates to good ratings for ESPN next year (plus they have legions of fans distributed around the country).

Just when I was thinking this BYU basketball season was too good to be true! Over the weekend, BYU beats SDSU for the 2nd time, and the media lights up with stories about a possible No. 1 see in the tournament. On Monday, BYU gets ranked at #3, their highest ranking ever. On Tuesday, we find out that Brandon Davies, our powerhouse center, has been suspended for the rest of the season for an “Honor Code violation.”

For those of you who didn’t attend BYU, there are lots of ways to violate the Honor Code, and no one’s talking about what Davies actually did. Here’s hoping it’s something serious enough to be worth blowing the best season BYU has ever had. Steroids + heroin + really strong coffee at some UVU houseparty and Charlie Sheen just happened to drop by. Yeah, that’d do it.

Also, there’s definitely something to be admired about BYU’s quick action. Officials were apparently made aware of the situation yesterday, and by today the decision was made. With just two games to go in the regular season! It would have been so easy to cover it up until April. Even the haters have to respect the unflinching enforcement of policy when it would have been in the team’s best interest to sweep this under the rug.

Which one of these TV shows is not like the others?

A.  Pawn Stars
B.  Antiques Roadshow
C.  Hoarders
D.  American Pickers

The correct answer is C, the show that denigrates America’s over-stuffed closets, basements, and attics full of crap. If you answered A, B, or D, you’re wrong, because those shows celebrate America’s over-stuffed closets, basements, and attics full of crap.

Corinne and I are a bit addicted to Pawn Stars and Antiques Roadshow, and I once spent an entire Seattle-to-NYC flight watching an American Pickers marathon (though I haven’t gotten her into it yet).

They have in common the perfect TV recipe: just enough history to feel educational; colorful characters, be they hosts, customer, or clients; and the potential for a huge unexpected payday for regular people like you and me!  Watching Regular Joe’s face light up on Antiques Roadshow as he finds out grandma’s end table could fetch $16K – $17K at auction (it’s from the renowned Parisian workshop of Gaston & Belle) is one of TV’s most sublime catharses. It’s like the emotional payoff at the end of a game show.

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I was taken to task by some people on Facebook because my blog post mentioned the sometimes violent rhetoric of Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, but not the violent rhetoric of the left, such as Obama talking about not wanting to “bring a gun to a knife fight.” (Although, to be fair, I did use Rahm Emmanuel as a possible example.)

I don’t think the two scenarios are AT ALL comparable (Obama’s was a one-off figure of speech, the other is a consistently used method of audience engagement and incitement), but one very important thing does need to be taken away from this by the right: Literally my FIRST thought when I heard that a democratic congresswoman had been shot was “some crazy teapartier shot a congresswoman!”

I’m absolutely against politicizing this tragedy, but that first reaction of mine didn’t come from nowhere, and I wasn’t alone in it–there was a widespread knee-jerk assumption that a crazed Palin devotee had shot a congresswoman. The sheriff assumed it, the news anchors assumed it, all my Twitter friends assumed it, I assumed it.

Whether that assumption was fair or accurate is mostly beside the point: From a  marketing standpoint, it’s evidence of an extremely negative perception that the right is going to have to admit exists, and then work hard to reverse it.

What I don’t get about Las Vegas is the utter lack of irony. You’ve been there–you’ve seen the gaudiness and the lights and the carpet and the ridiculous outfits everyone wears (especially the tourists). The whole thing is set up to be a hilarious joke, only nobody’s sober enough to appreciate it.

And if Las Vegas is a joke, the punchline HAS to be Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville. He’s Jimmy Buffett! The restaurant is all neon parrots and tacky music! It’s named after a tourist trap in Cancun, which itself is named after a totally mediocre easy-listening tune from 30 years ago. The only way Margaritaville the song could be worse is if it were sung by Elvis, as originally planned. The only way Margaritaville the restaurant could be worse is if they changed the name to “Jimmy Buffet” and it was all-you-can-eat shrimp tacos.

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