We went to Josh and Carly Maready’s house tonight for a small dinner party, and of course Ada whiles away much of the time watching YouTube videos on Josh’s MacBook Pro. She was a bit stymied by it, though; she kept pressing on the screen, expecting to be able to navigate the way she does on our–really her–iPad.
She has moments like this from time to time. The way she’s taken to the iPad is, in some ways, very heartening for a geek like me. She’s intuitively known since she was 18 months old how to navigate on the iPad and our iPhones, launching YouTube or Netflix and selecting the videos she wants to watch. Or she can pick the game she wants to play. I tell myself she’s a technological genius, but it could just be that iOS is THAT good. (She certainly hasn’t figure out how to use my Windows Phone.)
The problem with her iPad affinity is that I use it as a solution to sticky situations. When she’s grouchy or I have something I need to get done, I can hand her the iPad and she’ll happily watch videos as long as I let her. We use Corinne’s iPhone to keep her occupied when we eat out, and she eats more when she’s staring at a screen (but then so do I). I might have even (gasp) let her watch Curious George with the sound off in church this morning. Part of me says “Anything to keep her quiet through the meeting!” and the other part says “You’ve ruined her forever…she’ll never sit still again!”
That’s Issue #1: A video screen takes the place of behavior training.
Issue #2 is, I think, potential more impactful: She never sits with a show for more than a couple minutes. She’ll watch a bit of Curious George, then move on to Winnie the Pooh or Jungle Book, then on to Yo Gabba Gabba and then Dinosaur Train and Kipper. And, of course, she eventually ends up floating in the lake of swill called Disney Channel programming (the worst in the industry, by far).
What happens to a brain that can jump around between entertainment options in 30-second increments? We probably don’t know…Ada might be the first generation to be exposed to such an environment.
And should she be? This is a terrible question to be asking right before winter starts and she’s stuck inside for four months. Sorry Corinne!
P.S. — We really do try and limit her TV consumption and find other things to do, as is evidenced on Corinne’s blog. For instance, today we put on Bing Crosby and decorated our new Christmas tree. It’s the first natural tree I’ve ever had in my life (my family is allergic), and the first tree that Corinne and I have had in our 8+ years together. Fun!
This post depresses me.
Don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but my boy’s the same way. He can whip through games, apps, movies, & rename folders (all to JACK, of course) in minutes. I love and hate it. On one hand, it’s VERY handy when we’re out to eat, but on the other… it’s gotten WAY too easy on a Sunday afternoon when I want to watch football to hand him a device and send him on his merry way (you really, REALLY realize you’re a bad parent when the only reason you remember them is because they come back to tell you the battery is dead).
Jack went through that same phase of flipping, but it’s mostly gone now. He watches entire shows now (I was nervous about his ADD too)… what REALLY worries me now, is how that is his A number one thing he wants to do. He doesn’t ask to go outside, play with toys, or play with me as much any more. His FIRST question when I see him is, “can I use your phone?”
It’s difficult to limit him on a realistic basis, though. It was 7 degrees in Denver with snow on the ground yesterday. We played, hung out, ate, but then what? Do you just play, and play, and play all day? It’s unhealthy to spend too much time on a device, but it’s also unhealthy to be the sole source of entertainment as a parent. Kids need to learn to self entertain to a certain degree… who can say that in today’s day & age, being a complete digital native and learning the absolute ins and outs of these devices is a bad thing? Do you let them play on?
We were raised by parents that feared the mind melting powers of the TV, and so a certain amount of guilt is passed on from parent to child (who becomes the parent). “Too much TV is bad for your brain,” was what we heard, and we’re passing the same thing on but substituting games/internet/netflix for “TV.” The major difference is that when we were kids, a TV wasn’t something you carried around in your pocket, used to pay the bills, check your bank balance, and basically run your life. It’s a paradigm shift, for sure, and I think any parent that takes the time to think about it, struggles with how much is too much.
I’m rambling, so basically, yes. I agree with you. Amen.
Really it all comes down to this: I’m a dad, and I want is my boy’s individual interest to be sports. PLEASE don’t be a gamer (at least that admission is something that we KNOW will screw him up).
Jeff, your comment was better than my post. Faux pas!
You should repost it to your blog. Or post *something* to your blog…it’s been months!
Meh. Parents will always freak out about something. Ask yourself: did all those hours you spent playing video games rot your brain? My parents were SURE they were going to. But, turns out video games make for better surgeons! (I am WAY to lazy to link this to its source, so just trust me) And even if we’re not surgeons, we can all at least agree their brains aren’t fried, right?
So, maybe we’re warping our kids. Maybe not. Here’s the thing: In twenty years, we’ll know for sure. A teeny tiny blink of time on the geological clock.
Also, even if it turns out our kids ARE screwed up, ALL OF THEM will be screwed up. So it’s not like they’ll lose their competitive edge.
And here’s another thing: if video games did *good* things to brains and you were one of the freaking out parents who forbid them… Does that mean you made your kid stupider just so you would have something to feel guilty about? I know people don’t feel like good parents if they aren’t constantly awash with guilt, but STILL.
To reassert and/or re-clarify my point: Meh.
We don’t know if it’s bad or good. It’s never happened before. Obsessing one way or the other is logically unfounded. Argumentum ad ignorantiam is the proper term I guess.
Also, you’re right to feel bad for saying all this when Corrine is the one who would actually have to, like, *do* stuff about it. As if mothers of small children aren’t ALREADY on the brink of insanity by the absurd amount required of them. For shame.
[I feel a need to put a smiley emoticon somewhere now. But where? Here? Doesn't it detract from my point? And if so, is that a sexist thing where women aren't allowed to make points without smiley emoticons? Or is it just that it looks so odd and mesmerizing that you've gotta have one.... :)]