Monthly Archives: January 2010

Normally I’d post this rant to my effyoucat blog. But a few months ago, a couple similar, somewhat more vulgar blogs called F***YouPenguin and F***YouCat went big time, and kind of sapped my will to snark about cats on my own humble, decidedly non-big-time blog. (It was humble, but pioneering in it’s own way, laying the groundwork for the proliferation of foul-mouthed animal blogs that was to come).

Anyway, that’s why I don’t post to EffYouCat anymore. Instead, I’ll complain about my cat here for you all to read. Corinne’s out of town for a couple more weeks, leaving me as the sole caretaker of our devil kitty, Yoko. We’ve already spent a couple weeks alone together, earlier in December, and I’m ready to admit something about Yoko. Ready? Here goes…I wouldn’t mind having her around except that she has:

1. Claws
2. A voicebox
3. A social personality

If I could rip out her claws, her voicebox, and her trust in her human owners, I’d love that cat! Shoot, if I could do even one of those things, our icy relationship would thaw.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that there is a “perfect cat”–a Platonic ideal of what “cat” should be. And that perfect cat is mute, has no claws, doesn’t shed, and runs and hides under the bed whenever she sees me.

Someday I’ll find you and adopt you, perfect cat!

2009 died to the sound of baby laughter, and 2010 was born to the same soundtrack. I joined Corinne and Bumblebee for a week with Corinne’s  family at her parents’ home in St. Anthony, Idaho, followed by a few days with her grandparents in Salt Lake City. We also dropped by her sister’s place in beautiful Midway, Utah, Matt and Buffy’s ski lodge in Park City*, and my brother’s apartment in Provo. In each place, we spent most of our time sitting in a circle trying to get the baby to laugh. Not a bad way to pass the time, especially since she laughs so easily.

That’s not all we did, of course. We also ate like Ethiopians after Ramadan. Corinne’s family has a tradition of eating fondue on Christmas Eve, and her brother sent 15 pounds of king crab legs from Alaska as a spiny, edible Christmas present. Then of course there was the smoked turkey on Christmas day. Later in the week we drove an hour to Driggs, Idaho just to go to some hole-in-the-wall burger place and an Austrian bakery (both delicious). And that night, Corinne’s mom made traditional German ruladen (pickles, onion, bacon, and mustard rolled up in thinly sliced beef). Our first meal of 2010 was a delicious brunch with our good friends the Bowens. And we might have gone to Wingers. Twice.

Do we have pictures of all this amazing food and our friends? Well…no. See, we’re still getting used to the idea that we have a nice camera, so we don’t take pictures nearly as often as we should. I even got Corinne a camcorder for Christmas, and we barely used it at all. I spent half my vacation with a gorgeous view of the Tetons, and the other half in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains, the whole time with a giggling 4-month-old on my lap, and I took nary a photo to document it. 2010 New Year’s resolution…  (luckily, Corinne’s sister took some good pictures and posted them on her [hilarious] blog)

Corinne and Bumblebee have been out here since early December, and they’ll come back to NYC on the 16th. It’s funny, we’ll be driving through Rexburg on our way to the bowling alley or the pizza buffet, and Corinne will say “I could NEVER live here!”  “Um, you kinda already do.”

Rexburg, Idaho IS kind of weird–a 16,000-student school and no football team?–but I always enjoy our visits. A sleepy college town in the middle of nowhere when the students are away on holiday; that’s about as far from New York as you can get.  

And there’s a lot to be said for the Salt Lake area, too. One of the benefits of the Mormon culture is that we have a “home base” here in the Salt Lake Valley. I only lived here for a few years when I was in college, and neither my parents nor my wife’s parents live here, but it’s a defacto meeting place for both our families. Not only that, but many of our friends who’ve moved away from New York come to the Salt Lake Valley for the holidays, and there’s almost always a couple Monsons and Sweets at BYU at any given time. It’s fun having a place to go during the holidays where you can catch up with lots of relatives and old friends. So thanks for settling in the Salt Lake Valley, Brigham Young!

That’s all for now. Happy 2010 everyone!

* BTW, “Matt and Buffy’s ski lodge in Park City” is the whitest phrase I’ve ever written. Adding that to the list of 2010 milestones.