Hey creative people!
January 11, 2010 · 2 Comments
You gotta watch this…creative advice from master storyteller Ira Glass (of NPR’s This American Life). Very good advice that every creative person needs to hear sometimes.
God bless YouTube.
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Let’s talk about cats
January 4, 2010 · 7 Comments
Normally I’d post this rant to my effyoucat blog. But a few months ago, a couple similar, somewhat more vulgar blogs called F***YouPenguin and F***YouCat went big time, and kind of sapped my will to snark about cats on my own humble, decidedly non-big-time blog. (It was humble, but pioneering in it’s own way, laying the groundwork for the proliferation of foul-mouthed animal blogs that was to come).
Anyway, that’s why I don’t post to EffYouCat anymore. Instead, I’ll complain about my cat here for you all to read. Corinne’s out of town for a couple more weeks, leaving me as the sole caretaker of our devil kitty, Yoko. We’ve already spent a couple weeks alone together, earlier in December, and I’m ready to admit something about Yoko. Ready? Here goes…I wouldn’t mind having her around except that she has:
- Claws
- A voicebox
- A social personality
If I could rip out her claws, her voicebox, and her trust in her human owners, I’d love that cat! Shoot, if I could do even one of those things, our icy relationship would thaw.
So, I guess what I’m saying is that there is a “perfect cat”–a Platonic ideal of what “cat” should be. And that perfect cat is mute, has no claws, doesn’t shed, and runs and hides under the bed whenever she sees me.
Someday I’ll find you and adopt you, perfect cat!
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Eating in a Winter Wonderland
January 3, 2010 · Leave a Comment
2009 died to the sound of baby laughter, and 2010 was born to the same soundtrack. I joined Corinne and Bumblebee for a week with Corinne’s family at her parents’ home in St. Anthony, Idaho, followed by a few days with her grandparents in Salt Lake City. We also dropped by her sister’s place in beautiful Midway, Utah, Matt and Buffy’s ski lodge in Park City*, and my brother’s apartment in Provo. In each place, we spent most of our time sitting in a circle trying to get the baby to laugh. Not a bad way to pass the time, especially since she laughs so easily.
That’s not all we did, of course. We also ate like Ethiopians after Ramadan. Corinne’s family has a tradition of eating fondue on Christmas Eve, and her brother sent 15 pounds of king crab legs from Alaska as a spiny, edible Christmas present. Then of course there was the smoked turkey on Christmas day. Later in the week we drove an hour to Driggs, Idaho just to go to some hole-in-the-wall burger place and an Austrian bakery (both delicious). And that night, Corinne’s mom made traditional German ruladen (pickles, onion, bacon, and mustard rolled up in thinly sliced beef). Our first meal of 2010 was a delicious brunch with our good friends the Bowens. And we might have gone to Wingers. Twice.
Do we have pictures of all this amazing food and our friends? Well…no. See, we’re still getting used to the idea that we have a nice camera, so we don’t take pictures nearly as often as we should. I even got Corinne a camcorder for Christmas, and we barely used it at all. I spent half my vacation with a gorgeous view of the Tetons, and the other half in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains, the whole time with a giggling 4-month-old on my lap, and I took nary a photo to document it. 2010 New Year’s resolution… (luckily, Corinne’s sister took some good pictures and posted them on her [hilarious] blog)
Corinne and Bumblebee have been out here since early December, and they’ll come back to NYC on the 16th. It’s funny, we’ll be driving through Rexburg on our way to the bowling alley or the pizza buffet, and Corinne will say “I could NEVER live here!” “Um, you kinda already do.”
Rexburg, Idaho IS kind of weird–a 16,000-student school and no football team?–but I always enjoy our visits. A sleepy college town in the middle of nowhere when the students are away on holiday; that’s about as far from New York as you can get.
And there’s a lot to be said for the Salt Lake area, too. One of the benefits of the Mormon culture is that we have a “home base” here in the Salt Lake Valley. I only lived here for a few years when I was in college, and neither my parents nor my wife’s parents live here, but it’s a defacto meeting place for both our families. Not only that, but many of our friends who’ve moved away from New York come to the Salt Lake Valley for the holidays, and there’s almost always a couple Monsons and Sweets at BYU at any given time. It’s fun having a place to go during the holidays where you can catch up with lots of relatives and old friends. So thanks for settling in the Salt Lake Valley, Brigham Young!
That’s all for now. Happy 2010 everyone!
* BTW, “Matt and Buffy’s ski lodge in Park City” is the whitest phrase I’ve ever written. Adding that to the list of 2010 milestones.
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Mere Live Video from CMJ
December 10, 2009 · Leave a Comment
Two items of good news from the band front:
1. Mere has been named Stereofame’s Artist of the Month! Big thanks to Stereofame and the SF community, which has been a huge supporter of Mere for a while now. Which brings us to…
2. The live video from Stereofame’s CMJ showcase is now online at Stereofame and embedded below. Great video and sound quality, fun crowd, and Dwight’s voice sounded AMAZING. Only bummer is that I was hollering my lungs out on background vocals, but got lost in the mix–but perhaps that’s for the best. Anyway the video includes a Mere interview with Fuse TV’s Allison Hagendorf, followed by “You & I” and “Anything at All.”
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Shoulda gone to law school
December 10, 2009 · 2 Comments
Some dude punched a bus driver 5 years ago, so I had to miss a week of work to sit on a jury and figure out if he actually did punch the bus driver. He pleaded not guilty, but the bus driver testified that the dude punched him and showed us a couple doctor’s notes verifying a facial injury. There were no witnesses to the smackdown as it was four in the morning. The defendant didn’t testify, and the defendant’s lawyers didn’t do anything during cross examination of the bus driver to indicate that some other scenario might have happened. So it was the bus driver’s word against…well…nothing. So…uh…guilty?
The question mark is because the moron defense was only rivaled by the moron prosecution; which, despite a completely open-and-shut case, and despite trotting five cops and MTA workers up and asking them about their occupation, education, number of children, and whether they prefer “Who’s the Boss” or “Family Ties,” never fully explained to us the charges of 2nd Degree Assault and whether punching a bus driver meets the criteria. So we go into the jury room and try to literally figure out if we missed something–because the case seems so simple, and the lawyers couldn’t be THAT inept, could they? In fact, it seemed so easy that it took the jury a while to figure out our verdict.
The only thing the jury agreed on right off the bat was that if either lawyer had been at all competent, we would’ve reached a verdict in two seconds, and it could have just as easily been “Not Guilty” if the defense had even tried to cast a reasonable doubt on the event. Instead, their argument was that the defendant didn’t “punch” the driver, he hit him with the back of his open hand. (Apparently the defense was trying to convince us that you can backhand a bus driver, just not punch one. Great defense.)
Oh, also, all this fuss over some dude punching some other dude 5 years ago. And the case has been to trial twice before already. That means 42 jurors have lost work days, and a judge, 4 lawyers, a bailiff, four court cops, a court reporter, and a court clerk have all been paid to sit on this case thrice (though I’m sure the staff was different for each version of the case). Your tax dollars at work, people.
→ 2 CommentsCategories: New York Stuff
Walk Don’t Run
December 5, 2009 · 4 Comments
I saw some kid totally run over a lady today as he sprinted to catch the Shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square. THE SHUTTLE. The one that comes and goes every 4 seconds! Every morning and night I see crazy dummies running for this train like it’s the last elven ship to leave the Grey Havens for the Western Realms (believe it or not, Corinne came up with that LOTR simile).
For those that aren’t familiar with the NY subway system, the S shuttle runs from Grand Central to Times Square. The trip takes about two minutes, and there are three trains, and during rush hour, they come and go every minute or so. Hypothetically, if the S train stopped running, you could walk its entire route in about 10 minutes.
And yet people run to catch these trains.
The Monson family is divided on the subject of running in public. Corinne’s thinking is that it’s NEVER ok to run in public except for exercise. Don’t compromise your dignity to catch that bus or to avoid waiting for the next train. Better to just be late to the job interview.
I’m a little more lax in my rules, probably because I’m usually running late (no pun intended). I allow myself to quickly jog to catch any bus, or the NRQW, L, and BDFV train lines. You miss an R train, and you could be waiting a long time for the next one. So go on and jog.
Sprinting–of the sort that occurs on the S platform–is acceptible only when a taxi is about to strike you dead or you’re being chased by fast zombies.
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Entertain me!
November 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment
Bumblebee’s been mopey and grumpy all week. We read books to her, dance around to music videos, I play my mandolin, Corinne makes funny faces, but nothing keeps her interested and happy for more than a couple minutes. I’m pretty sure it’s because she’s already bored with her middle-class life. I guess you’re never to young for ennui!
Time to start saving up for her Super Sweet Sixteen party. If we don’t have elephants and Rihanna there, she’s going to disown her parents.
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Mere Thoughts and Pics
November 19, 2009 · Leave a Comment
Wow, three weeks later, I guess I should post the photos from the Mere show at CMJ. It was a great show at Ace of Clubs–sound quality was terrific, maybe the best-sounding show we’ve played. Funny story about the venue: The last show we played at Ace of Clubs was three years ago…and the room was literally empty except the bartender and two lovely ladies (Dwight’s and Brett’s wives). We were headlining at Maxwell’s the next night, and wanted our fans to go to that show, so we didn’t publicize our Ace of Clubs show very much. The booker was (rightfully) furious, so of course we burned that bridge and thought we’d never play there again. It was fun to go back and play to a packed house.
Sidenote: The other club we’ve been banned from is Snitch, because Brett almost got in a fight with the booker a couple years ago. But that was fine; we played several shows there and the sound guys were horrible, and on any given night, half their amps were blown out and one of their mics wouldn’t work (or something). Plus their drink prices are ridiculous, so our fans didn’t like the club any more than we do.
Anyway, the CMJ show a few weeks ago was my second Mere gig on the drums. I played for years when I was a kid–even dropped out of college for a semester to play drums in a rap-metal band in Portland–but I loved playing bass with Mere. Drummers are stuck sitting down during shows, and playing drums requires concentration (and playing drums and singing takes practice). Let’s be real: bass guitar is the easiest instrument in the world. I could play my bass, sing some backup vocals, and have plenty of brain power left over to enjoy the show and feel the energy.
But once in a while, it’s fun to sit at the kit and bang on some cymbals. Brett, the rhythm guitar player, took over on bass, and we were lucky enough to get erstwhile Mere singer/songwriter Christian Brucculeri back into the lineup on rhythm guitar and vocals. He even sang lead on Try, which is my #1 favorite Mere song, and is probably in my top 10 favorite songs. Christian wrote several great Mere tracks like Anything At All and Falling. Great singer and great songwriter, as is Dwight, so having them both onstage was great.
And now, for some pictures (courtesy of my buddy Daniel Parker):
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Check Out InstantJury.com
October 21, 2009 · Leave a Comment
My friend Brett (besides being the other half of Mere’s rhythm section and the defacto mayor of Hoboken) launched a website called InstantJury.com, which solves disputes between embittered roommates, rival siblings, jilted lovers, and run-of-the-mill frenemies.
Got a beef? File suit on InstantJury, specify the damages you think you deserve, and the defendant will be subpoenaed via e-mail. At that point, you each have 24 hours to make your arguments and counterarguments, and then the InstantJury community weighs in to determine who’s right and who’s wrong.
For a good look at how it works, go check out the Hall of Shame cases. This one is my favorite, I think. Outed by the Excel spreadsheet!
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